if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize