um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
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I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
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It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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