she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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