She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize