There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Let's get the cat blown out
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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