What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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