I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize