So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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