Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
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I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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