You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
God I need to hump something, right now.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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