I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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