Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
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