Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize