If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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