the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
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Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
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Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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