Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize