Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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