God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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