There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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