So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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