I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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