My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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