i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize