We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize