Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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