Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
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do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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