i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i out mim tonsoeep
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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