a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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