fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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