i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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