It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
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Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
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Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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