Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
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And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
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It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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