we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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