I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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