You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize