i don't like sucking hair
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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