she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
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I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
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WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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