You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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