God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize