Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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