How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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