Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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