It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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