It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
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Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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