I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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