Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize