ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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