So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize