She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
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