you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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